Sometimes Love isn't Enough
by Kendal-Rose
Summary: Connie, Sam and Someone New.
1. Wine and Secrets

"I'm so angry with you," she told him, looking up at him with dark eyes, the remainder of her wine sloshing angrily against the wine glass,

"You're drunk," he told her, unable to keep the smile from his face,

"And you're laughing at me," she told him, her pouting lips and wide eyes reproducing not so unfamiliar feelings deep inside his stomach,

"I'm not laughing at you, but I know you're drunk… you wouldn't me telling me how mad you are at me if you were sober," he told her, holding his hand out to her, "Come on, let's get you back to your room,"

"If you weren't married, you could have come with me to bed," she teased, making him wonder how she was still so god damn attractive when she was clearly intoxicated,

"Connie…" he began, watching as she purposefully stood up, ignoring his outstretched hand,

"I need to go to bed," she mumbled, stumbling slightly as she pulled on her jacket, and walked the wrong way as she intended to leave the hotel bar,

"This way," he told her, holding her arms gently and leading her through the now quiet bar,

They stood beside each other in the lift, a heavy silence had fallen upon them and he found himself wondering why he'd chosen not to tell her.

She kissed his cheek gently, obviously deciding that she wasn't going to say anymore. Not that she'd said much at all really. "I'll see you tomorrow," she told him, "Sleep well,"

"You too," he replied, surprised at the feelings that flooded through him as he watched her let herself into her room.


	2. The Morning After

He should have known better to think that she would look anything less than immaculate the following morning. He watched her as she sipped her coffee, her black dress hugging her perfect figure.

"Can I sit here?" he asked, a smile on his face as she looked up at him,

"Of course," she nodded, "I'm sorry about last night, you were right… I was drunk,"

He nudged her playfully, "Can I have that in writing?"

"What that I was drunk?"

"No… that you're sorry,"

She raised her eyebrow at him, "What do you think?"

"Worth a try," he smiled, "Do you fancy half a croissant?"

She nodded, taking it from him quickly as they sat down to listen to the first lecture.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," he admitted to her that evening as they walked around the grounds of the Scottish hotel on the second evening of their conference,

"It surprised me; I'll give you that," she replied, "I mean… that's a pretty big thing not to mention Sam,"

"I know," he told her, "But telling you… god… it just made everything so final,"

"Getting married should have made it final," she answered, knowing exactly what he was talking about,

"All those emails we sent back and forth… I felt I could tell you everything, about work… my family… my day…"

"You don't have to do this," she smiled, linking her arm through his,

He nodded, "Your opinion is the one I value the most," he admitted, "and the longer I didn't tell you, the harder it got,"

She smiled, "I know that feeling,"

"I haven't seen you for two years but you look exactly the same," he admitted,

"You look older," she teased, "But then I guess that's what marriage does to you,"

He laughed, "Connie you don't change,"

She shivered as the wind whistled across the trees, "Let's get back inside, it must be time for dinner," she shouted over the wind as they jogged back to the hotel.

Seeing her after so long made him realise exactly why he'd missed her so much since she'd left. She was funny and witty and beautiful, and he knew she showed very few people who'd she'd worked with that side of her.

They sat on the sofa in the bar they had been in on the first of their three day visit to Scotland. "Last night…" he begun,

She laughed, "I was joking when I told you, you could have come to bed with me,"

He rolled his eyes, "You were mad at me…"

She nodded, "Of course I was… you're meant to be my friend, and you kept something deliberately hidden from me. That's why I was mad,"

"The only reason?"

"There is no point having this discussion Sam Strachan," she admitted, raising her eyebrow, "Because hypothetically if I turned around and told you I was madly in love with you and you should have married me… what would you do?"

He leaned closer to her, "Connie…"

She shook her head, "Like I said, you're my friend and you kept something like that from me… that is all it is,"

He rolled his eyes, "You're still as impossible as you always were,"

"I think your answer to my question should have been honest," she admitted, "You should have told me you couldn't do anything, that you wouldn't want to do anything because you're married now and you love your wife,"

"I love my wife… and how did this hypothetical question get me so wound up? How do you always manage to get me so wound up?"

She laughed, "You always let me wind you up,"

"When are you heading back to Afghanistan?"

"I'm not," she replied, "I'm moving home,"

"And why has it taken you all weekend to tell me that?"

"I told you in my last email,"

"I haven't had chance to read it,"

"That your fault not mine," she laughed,

"You're enjoying this Connie," he told her,

"I need to go to bed," she replied, finishing the rest of her wine before standing up and squeezing his hand, "I'll see you tomorrow,"


	3. In with the new

He leaned his head back against the sofa, his head spinning. "You look troubled mate," a northern voice boomed,

Sam opened his eyes to see his old colleague standing behind him. "What are you doing here?" He laughed, standing up and pulling his friend into a quick hug, before inviting him to sit down.

"Tomorrow's speaker has been taken ill, so I'm here instead… I thought you'd be here… was that Connie Beauchamp?"

"Connie Chase now, but yes… the very same,"

"Last time I saw you, the two of you were having some mad affair," Gareth commented, at the same time as waving his hand to order two more pints of beer,

"Mad is one word for it," Sam admitted,

"So the obvious question… what happened? I'd seen you with a lot of women before you moved to Holby, all that liked you a lot more than you liked them… then Connie… the two of you were well… I don't know what you were, but you kept going back, that's something I'd never known you to do," Gareth told him honestly as he sipped his beer,

"She moved to Afghanistan two years ago… not long after I last saw you. She was head hunted and it was obvious I couldn't compete with that… we never had a conversation about what we were doing, all of sudden she was moving to a war zone and that was it…"

"My guess is you forced yourself to forget about her, found yourself someone else, got married, thought you were happy, and boom… she's back,"

Sam laughed, "Something like that,"

"What? I'm not right?"

"Not entirely. I never tried to forget about her, we've been emailing since she left."

"But…"

"Well I never told her I was married,"

Gareth laughed, "That's bad form mate,"

"There's not time to go into why I didn't…. I don't even know why I didn't. She's already wound me up something chronic about it. And she's moving back home which apparently she told me in an email which I haven't got round to reading yet."

"So I heard,"

"You heard?" Sam uttered, almost choking on his beer,

"Come on mate, most Cardiac Consultants know where she's going. This whole centre of excellence… she's the driving force behind it,"

"And so are you…" Sam laughed, shaking his head, "How did I miss this?"

Gareth placed his hand on Sam's shoulder momentarily, "I know what you two had, but I have to be honest with you, I wanted her on board,"

"You poached her back?"

"Something like that,"

"Jesus," Sam uttered, shaking his head, "Well cheers mate,"

"So you're the Gareth Wilson," she smiled, holding out her hand and shaking his firmly,

"Connie Chase, nice to finally meet you," he told her, trying to stay professional as she looked up at him under curled lashes, "I'm glad you're here… you must tell me afterwards what you think of my presentation, I'm sure you won't agree with it all,"

Connie nodded, "It would be unlike me if I did… your name wasn't on the speakers list,"

He nodded, "You're a smart woman…"

"So you're doing someone else's presentation?"

"Of course not," Gareth admitted, "And why did you decline the offer to talk?"

"Maybe it has something to do with the fact I've been in Afghanistan and I've been concentrating on other things," she smiled, making him feel instantly foolish,

"Excuse me," Gareth nodded as the conference organiser beckoned him away,

He could have done without this; he was used to attractive women, his life was full of attractive women, but she had something different about her. She had a spark about her that made him realise exactly why Sam Strachan couldn't stay away. Sam was professional; he knew he understood why he'd fought for Connie to be a big part of his project. However personally, he knew that all hell would break lose if he dared go anywhere near her. Which he knew would prove to be difficult.

"What would you like you drink Miss. Chase?"

"Please, call me Connie," she smiled, "Just a soda and blackcurrant please,"

"Want to stay in control?" he teased, ordering what she'd asked for,

"More like too much alcohol over the past two days… I was craving wine while I was away, and now I'm back I've had enough already,"

He nodded, a smile playing on his face,

"And I always stay in control,"

"Professionally speaking we are all aware of how in control you are," he told her, "But there must be a few times where you let someone else take the lead,"

She stifled her smile, "Being in control of yourself and taking the lead are two completely different things Mr. Wilson…"

He nodded, "They are indeed,"

She was glad as Sam came over to the two of them, a bemused expression on his face, "You two aren't arguing already are you?"

"No," Connie smiled, "Not yet,"

"Are you telling me she hasn't picked apart your presentation yet?" Sam offered,

"There's a few things I'd change," she admitted, looking at Gareth, finding it increasingly difficult to look away from him, "But actually, I think you're pretty much on point,"

"Pretty much?" Gareth challenged,

"No-one knows everything… not even me,"

"Afghanistan's changed you," Sam teased, making her laugh, "You would never have admitted that before."


	4. More than friends

When she finally climbed into bed that night, she knew she wouldn't get to sleep for a while. She still couldn't believe Sam was married, she herself didn't know why she was so hurt that he hadn't told her. She'd left Afghanistan behind ready to start again in Holby on a new project with two prestigious surgeons. One of which she hadn't realised had been Sam's former boss and friend. One of which she was now attracted too. Damn it.

He felt hot. Partly to do with the weather and partly due to how close Connie was sat to him. She had no choice, he granted her that. They were sat listening to members of the board discussing pre-operative centres and merging of teams.

"We're going to go round in circles and then they'll agree with what we've written," he whispered, as Connie nodded and Luke rolled his eyes. `

Connie crossed her legs, not missing how Gareth's gaze fell to her smooth legs,

"Would any of you mind if we took a break? And came back in twenty minutes or so? Give you guys some time to think?"

The four men and two women looked up and nodded, "We should have decided by then," the younger of the women nodded at Connie kindly.

"I'm going to get something to eat, I'll be back in good time," Luke told the two Consultants,

"I don't know about you, but I need some fresh air," Connie added, taking off her suit jacket and hanging it over her arm,

"May I join you?" He asked,

She nodded, "Of course,"

"I've never worked in a team in the NHS where I've agreed more with what people are trying to achieve," she admitted as they sat outside the hospital grounds,

"I haven't seen nearly as much of your fiery temper as I was expecting," he smiled,

"We haven't officially launched this project yet," she laughed, "There are still lots of things that could go wrong,"

"What are you doing tonight?" He asked her, "Do you fancy showing me a nice bar around here, seeing as I'll be spending more time here than I thought?"

"You say that like it's a bad thing," she smiled,

He shook his head, "Apart from the added expense of petrol, I can't think of any other reason why I wouldn't want to spend more of my time around here,"

She smiled, "As it happens I'm free tonight,"

"Shall I pick you up at eight?"

She shook her head, "Meet me in The Terrace in town at eight,"

He smiled, "See you there."

"Con, I feel like I haven't seen you in ages… are you free tonight?" Sam asked, "Anna's having friends round so I thought we could go for a drink?"

She ignored the guilt that emerged in her chest, pushing it away quickly as she remembered he was married now; she didn't have to feel guilty. "I'm not free tonight," she smiled, "How about we grab a coffee tomorrow?"

"Deal," he replied, "Where are you going?"

"Just for dinner with a friend," she replied, grateful as her pager bleeped, "Haven't you got work to do Strachan?"

She saw him straight away stood leaning against the bar, a beer in his hand. She hated admitting to herself but she found him attractive. She found him more than attractive and even more annoyingly, she liked his personality too. She was shocked that she hardly argued with him, their easy banter made her laugh and she knew she'd struggle to manipulate him. Not that she'd wanted to manipulate him and that alone was something new.

"I thought you weren't going to turn up," he smiled as she approached him,

"I'm perfectly on time," she replied, gracefully accepting the wine he'd bought her,

"Most people might be early,"

She shook her head, "I'm not most people,"

"No," he admitted,

She looked up at him, her eyes sparkling despite the hour, "It's past midnight Gareth,"

He nodded, "I guess we should get home,"

"I guess we should," she smiled, "Thank you for tonight,"

"It's been my pleasure," he nodded, wanting nothing more than to take her home and keep her close to him,

She kissed his cheek as she flagged down a taxi, "See you at work,"


	5. Skip the Dance

He didn't quite know what was passing between them. He thought more of Connie that he'd ever thought of another woman and he hadn't even got as close as kissing her. They flirted and they'd become friends. She was his closest ally, something that he hadn't expected from the feisty Consultant. And then there was Sam. He had never even spoken about what had happened between her and Sam.

She stood watching Chrissie and Sasha during their first dance, her skin tingling as she heard a now so familiar voice in her ear, "Want to dance?" He asked, his deep voice spilling over her,

She looked up at him, a coy smile on her face, "Don't you have any manners?" She asked, "The first dance is for the bride and groom only,"

He rolled his eyes, "I meant to the next song,"

She nodded, "I knew that,"  
He smiled, "I know,"

She turned so she was facing him properly, her hand slipping up his chest, the heat from her palm warming him, "Are you still in love with Sam?" If his question shocked her, she didn't show it,

"No," she told him quietly, her heart in her mouth,

"I think you're beautiful," he told her, placing his hand on her cheek, his thumb brushing her skin, "And the most talented surgeon I've ever worked with,"

"There's this constant battle behind your eyes," she told him, "It's as if you can't decide about me,"

"No, no…" he admitted, "Sam's my friend, and you and him are…"

"Were," she corrected, her eyes not losing his focus,

"And he's my friend, he would hate me if I…"

"I don't know about you, but I want to skip this dance and fall into bed," she spoke just loud enough for him to hear, "Preferably with you,"

He leaned into her, pressing his lips against hers, feeling her inhale against him as she gripped his shirt, "Let's go,"

The taxi journey to his flat, passed quickly, the passion that exuded from the two of them took his breath away. He opened his door and she smiled, allowing him to take the lead as he gently took her jacket from her body,

She wrapped her arms loosely around his neck as he kissed her, his lips kissing hers over and over again before they dropped to her shoulders, "I want to get you out of this dress," he mumbled against her neck as she ran her fingers through his hair,

"I'm not stopping you," she smiled, laughing as he kissed her mouth and scooped her over his shoulder,

"Upstairs," he uttered by way of explanation.

The next few hours were filled with hot, passionate kisses on warm skin, limbs entangled into positions they hadn't been in in a long time, if ever. Despite his passion, his touch was firm and gentle, his lips hardly left hers. She lay sprawled across his chest, a lazy silence having fallen over the pair as they managed to finally catch their breath.

He kissed her forehead, "Are you okay?" he asked, his lips tickling her skin,

"Connie," he smiled,

She realised she hadn't answered and smiled against his chest, "Sorry," she laughed sleepily, "Yes I'm okay, are you?"

"What do you think?"

She propped herself up on her right elbow, her left hand on his chest, encased by his, "Why did we wait so long to feel like that?" She smiled,

He kissed her mouth gently and pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her, "Maybe it felt like that because we left it so long,"

She turned off the light and lay close to him, falling into a contended sleep almost immediately. He could hardly believe what had happened, that he was lying like this with the woman he'd denied himself for so long.

She woke first the following morning, kissing his shoulder gently before getting into the shower. The sound of the water woke him and he smiled, rubbing his hands over his eyes as he remembered last night,

"So you are really here, and last night did really happen?" He smiled, opening the door of the shower and getting in with her,

She shook her head, "Either that, or we both dreamt the same dream?" she replied, squealing slightly as he pushed her against the cold wall of the shower,

"Is it this too much?" he uttered in-between kisses, lifting her as she wrapped her legs around his strong back,

"No," she uttered breathlessly, choosing not to say anymore,

An hour later they sat eating breakfast, a comfortable silence having falling around them,

"How are we going to play this?" he asked, reaching out for her hand and pulling her gently onto his lap,

"I don't want to tell anyone else yet," she told him, "I didn't expect to find working with you so easy, I didn't expect to get on with you and before I moved back here this is the last thing that I ever thought would happen,"

"You don't have to explain," he told her, disappointment evident in his eyes,

"I want to explain," she told him honestly, "I wanted to throw myself back into work in a different way than before, I want people to respect me for my work and my patient care and not always be fearful of me… I don't want people to think I've gone soft either. I like my private life kept private,"

"I understand that," he admitted, his eyes not leaving hers, "I just don't want you to regret…"

She shook her head "Do you think I'd be sat here like this, if I didn't want to be here?"


	6. Secrets Never Last

She was trying to write her notes, but all she could think about was Gareth. They were working together today and she hated admitting she was struggling to get him out of her head. He was tall, broad and strong, his chiselled face changed instantly when he smiled.

"Connie," Trisha repeated for the second time.

"Yes?" Connie asked, finally signing her operation notes and putting them in the folder,

"I just came to ask you if you wanted to come and grab a coffee… but I can see your mind is elsewhere,"

"I could do with a break," Connie admitted,

Trisha nodded, "I thought as much,"

"Now you are either quiet because you're busy, pissed off, or your mind is elsewhere,"

"I'm not pissed off," she smiled, sipping the coffee and enjoying how it warmed her quickly,

"Mr. Wilson?" Trisha dared utter, watching how Connie tried and failed to hide her smile,

"How did you…"

"I take it you both finally gave into what you've both been feeling for months?"

"Please don't tell anyone,"

"You don't want Sam to know?"

"Trisha, are you psychic?"

"No… just older than you," Trisha laughed, "And I'm not blind… the two of you clicked instantly… but I take it Sam was the reason you've held off for so long?"

Connie exhaled, "I think it was just an unspoken agreement…I… am I doing the right thing?"

"Do you like him? Not just as a fling?"

"Yes," Connie admitted, "And I think he feels the same,"

"Sam's married Connie… you know it and I know it, he has no right to comment on what you do,"

Connie rolled her eyes, "I know that, you know I feel like a teenager again. I'd appreciate it, if you kept this to yourself for now,"

"My lips are sealed," Trisha promised.

"Has anyone seen Connie?" Sam asked for the fifth time on the busy Cardiac ward,

"Mr. Strachan, can I help you?" Luke asked,

"I didn't think you were based here?" Sam admitted, "And yes you can help me, I need you to look at Mr. Lawson for me,"

"We're all based here now," Luke told him, "Holby is the main centre; the other sites are pre-operative and elective operations,"

"How did I miss that?" Sam uttered,

"You were in the meeting Mr. Strachan,"

He couldn't quite believe what he was seeing as he looked out of the window from the stairwell, if he wasn't mistaken he was sure he could see Connie and Gareth standing closely, and he was almost sure his hand was on her face. He watched his heart racing as he saw her slide her hands up his chest and kiss him strongly before she laughed as he pulled her closer to him, wrapping her in his coat. He couldn't look away; unable to ignore the surge of jealously and anger that was building inside him as she kissed him once more before they walked closely presumably back into the hospital.


	7. Jealously and Love

"Rumour has it Connie has a new lover," Sam began, watching Gareth's reaction to his statement,

Gareth looked up and shrugged, "Right, and why are you telling me?"

"Because I thought you were my friend," he uttered, anger in his eyes

"Don't do this here," Gareth begun, "I can explain, I shouldn't have to…but…"

"Explain?" Sam yelled, moving over towards him quickly, "I know what I saw,"

Before Gareth even had chance to stand up properly, he felt a searing heat and a loud crack as he fell to the floor,

"Jesus Sam," Connie yelled, running as fast as her heels would allow, Michael Spence, and Luke close behind her as she knelt down by Gareth,

"I'm fine," he uttered, despite the room spinning and the blood gushing from his nose,

She turned to Michael, "We'll be okay here, just get him out of here," she asked, unable to even look at Sam who struggled beneath Michael's hold.

Connie cleaned up Gareth's face gently, surprised at the tears that burned behind her eyes. "Do you feel dizzy or…"

He shook his head, "I'm more worried about my pride,"

She laughed, watching as he took her hand, "Sorry," he told her,

"For once, you don't have anything to be sorry about," she smiled,

"He must have seen us,"

She shrugged, "He was bound to at one point, at least we don't have to hide anymore,"

"I'm so mad with him," Connie admitted, "He has no right to come in here and do this; me and him were over a long time ago…"

Gareth laughed, wincing as he rubbed the back of his head, "You make me feel things, I haven't felt in a long time," he admitted, "I don't want to go into how I feel about you now… but I need to know you don't still want Sam,"

"I want you," she told him simply, "I would never have considered this… you and me… if I still wanted Sam,"

She pressed her lips against his gently, "You make me happy," she admitted, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink. "Now are you okay? I need to go and sort out that ward before I leave tonight?"

"I'll survive," he nodded, "Do you fancy a take away and wine at mine?" He asked, standing up and kissing her mouth again softly,

"Sounds good," she smiled, "I won't be long,"

"Sam's gone home, Luke's in theatre… he said he'll talk to him tomorrow… you've worked way over your shift, so you need to go home," Michael told her,

"For once you're right Mr. Spence,"

Michael nodded, "I believe so."

"Thank you," she told him quietly,

They lay curled up closely on his corner sofa, the fire warming their naked bodies,

"I don't want to be anywhere else right now," she admitted, her voice resonating against his chest,

"Good," he smiled, "I don't want you to be anywhere right now either,"

"What are you thinking about?" She asked him tiredly as he ran his fingertips up and down her back,

"You," he admitted, kissing her neck,

"You don't need to think about me… I'm right here," she smiled against his skin,

"How I feel for you scares me,"

"I thought nothing scared you," she teased, propping herself up onto her elbow, running her free hand across his neck,

"Apart from you… I'm not used to this,"

"What, sleeping with a woman more than once? Come on Gareth I know you only want me for my body,"

He laughed, "I want you for many more reasons than that,"


	8. Declarations of Love

"I need to talk to you," Sam told her on the ward the following morning as ward round finished,

She shook her head, "Unless it's about a patient, I don't want to hear it,"

"Please, Connie," he asked, trying to get her to look at him,

"I'm trying to work…"

"Connie…" he spoke firmly, "Ten minutes,"

"Fine ten minutes, that's it,"

She walked into her office and he followed her, her clipped tones reminding him of how she was when she started at Holby, "Go on," she spat, anger exuding from her,

"I'm sorry," he admitted, "I just… you and Gareth… Connie, I know I had no right to do what I did…"

"You hit him Sam… for what? Because I'm sleeping with him?"

"You could sleep with anyone you want, why did you pick him? To rub my nose in it?"

"I know we've done some things to each other in the past but…" She began, before lowering her voice, "I could have slept with him that weekend in Scotland and I didn't… we tried to stay away from each other… but why should I? Me and you, we were over years ago Sam… you married someone else… who I sleep with has nothing to do with you,"

"You like him don't you?"

"Yes," she told him, "I need to go back to work,"

She could hardly contain her anger as she pulled up outside the hospital where Gareth worked to see Sam's car there. She stormed to Gareth's office, stopping as she heard raised voices inside.

"You knew how I felt about her," Sam told him, "You knew more than anyone how much I felt for her,"

"You let her go to Afghanistan Sam. You told me yourself you let her go. You went and married your wife. You can't have the best of both worlds,"

"Out of all the women… you had to have Connie? How long has it been going on?"

"A few months," Gareth told him plainly, "And of course we didn't tell you before you ask, we knew you'd react like this,"

"Gareth," Sam uttered, his voice getting louder,

"No mate… you know me… you know I'll look after her. If you care about her like you say you do, why would you prefer her to be with some guy you don't know?"

Sam sighed, "You're not just a fling are you? Do you love her?"

"We're not just a fling,"

"Don't hurt her," Sam uttered,

Connie felt like a teenager as she entered the nearest room so Sam didn't see her as he stormed past. She exhaled strongly, her heart in her chest. She checked her reflection in the mirror before adjusting her skirt and tights, sighing inwardly at herself.

She knocked on his door, hearing his loud footsteps as he swung open the door, his stern expression replaced with a smile,

"Expecting someone else?" She asked, a smile on her pretty face, "Shall I come back?"

"Yes, and No," he replied, as she entered his office and closed his door behind him.

"I wish you weren't working nights," she smiled, slipping her hands up his chest and leaning against him as he slipped his left arm around her, his right slipping into her hair,

"But you finally get the bed to yourself," he smiled, kissing her with a passion she hadn't felt before,

"Connie," he uttered, running his fingertips across her neck,

She looked up at him, "Gareth,"

"I love you," he told her simply, "Everything about you," he laughed almost nervously, "I love working with you, and spending time with you, I love spending hours in bed with you…" He kissed each of her temples softly, "There's no one else I want to come home to… I can't imagine coming home to anyone else,"

She tiptoed up and wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, burying her head into his skin. She smiled, placing her hands either side of his face, "I love you too,"

His bleep went off loudly and she laughed, "Just when I thought we could finally have sex in your office,"

He laughed, kissing her passionately, "I have to go, don't wait up for me,"

"See you later,"

He grabbed her arm as she went to leave, pulling her into him strongly. She laughed, kissing him back full measure, "See you later,"

He let himself into her house quietly that evening, cleaning his teeth in the downstairs bathroom before entering her bedroom. He couldn't help but smile at how she was spread across the bed, fast asleep. He stripped down to his boxers and moved her over the bed gently, before getting in beside her. She stirred in her sleep and automatically curled into him. He closed his eyes and held her close to him, running his fingertips up and down her arms,

"You're late," she whispered,

"I didn't mean to wake you," he whispered into the darkness,

She turned so her back was to his front, "Go to sleep," she smiled, laughing lightly as he kissed her neck.


	9. Family Affair

"Oh no," Connie uttered under her breath as she walked onto the ward,

"Hello mate," Gareth smiled, shaking hands with his old friend who stood in front of him,

"Gareth… I didn't know you worked here,"

"Well across here and another two sites,"

"So you haven't come to see me after all Joe?"

Joe laughed, "I haven't seen you for a couple of months… I blame your new woman… who is she anyway?"

Connie thought about turning round but instead she rolled her eyes, "Hi Joe,"

"Con," her brother grinned, pulling her into a hug tightly, "Do you know Gareth? I went to university with him,

"We're both Cardiac Consultants in the same hospitals, of course I know him,"

Joe rolled his eyes, "Still just as sarcastic,"

"How do you two know each other?" Gareth asked, noticing the slight smile on Connie's face,

"Connie's my younger sister," Joe nodded, not noticing the look of well concealed shock on Gareth's face, "Con, I came to see if you were free to grab lunch, I haven't seen you in a couple of weeks,"

"Do you mind if I go for lunch with Joe? I've got my bleep and my phone if anyone needs me here,"

"Let's go for a drink soon mate, I want to know more about your mystery woman,"

"I think you've met her," Gareth begun looking at Connie,

When Joe still didn't realise Connie sighed in exasperation, "It's me," Connie told him, "Me and Gareth are together,"

"You're with my sister?" "You're with Gareth?" Joe uttered, "What? And neither of you thought to tell me?"

"Come on Joe, neither of us knew you knew both of us,"

Joe ran his hand through his hair, "Connie, are you free for dinner tonight? I need to,"

"Get your head round things first," Connie finished for him, "I'm free tonight, I'll see you at seven?"

"Seven it is,"

As her brother left, Connie nodded for Gareth to come into her office, "You went to university with my brother?"

"I did indeed… I thought he might hit me for a minute there,"

Connie laughed, "You don't need that again,"

"So I don't get to see you tonight?"

"You're oncall again anyway," she told him, "And I might turn up at yours of you're lucky,"

"You could just move in," he asked as her bleep went and they ran for the crash call,

"Or you could move in with me," she asked,

"Or we could buy somewhere together?" He asked, his heart in his mouth and not because they were running to the other side of the hospital,

She smiled, taking charge of the situation before her as it so happened they were the first doctors to the scene, "Can you grab the crash cart," she nodded at Gareth before looking at the nurse, "Tell me what happened,"

She sat at her brothers, surprised for once with how tidy his house was,

"I told you the mess wasn't because of me," he smiled, "The girls send their love, they're gutted they aren't getting to see you,"

"I did receive a text from Poppy this morning, she's sounding more and more like you every day,"

"Connie…"

"Don't," she told him, "Please don't try and put me off him,"

Joe smiled, leaning against the work surface, "He's a good bloke, I've known him for a long time… I've never seen him look at anyone how he looked at you,"

"He asked me to move in with him earlier,"

"And…"

"I told him to move in with me… so he said we could buy somewhere together,"

"And you're thinking about it?"

"Yes," she told him simply,

"You love him don't you Con?"

Connie laughed, "Yes…"

"Then if you're happy, I'm happy," Joe grinned, handing Connie a glass of wine as he placed a plate of beautifully smelling food in front of her, "


	10. Moving Forwards

"Did you mean what you said about moving in together?" She asked as he crept quietly into bed behind her,

"I thought you were asleep?"

She shook her head and turned to face him, "I can't stop thinking about living together,"

"You've decided you like your own space too much?" He teased, as she slipped her cold toes between his calves,

She shook her head, "I want to live with you… I mean we pretty much live together already, but where do you want to live?"

"I don't care," he told her honestly,

"I like the idea of buying somewhere together," she admitted, "But don't' feel I'm pressuring you into anything,"

He pulled the covers up over them, "We have a few days off together next week… we could have a look at places then,"

She laughed, "Are you just saying this to get me into bed?"

"I already have you in bed," he uttered against her skin, "Although I want more than anything to keep you here."

"You don't like it? Why don't you like this one?" He asked, fighting the urge to roll his eyes, "You liked it in the paper,"

She looked at him firmly, "Yes, and you liked the last two in the paper," she told him, "And didn't like them when we looked round,"

"I'm sure we'll find somewhere," the estate agent told them, "I've got one more house to show you that you might like… but the owners aren't back from holiday until this evening,"

Connie nodded, "Anytime today or tomorrow then if we can?"

"Okay, I'll let you know,"

"Thank you," Connie and Gareth replied at once,

"Let's grab some lunch, I can see you're getting grumpy," she smiled up at him, nudging him playfully,

"Only if we can sit outside," he told her

"Deal," she smiled, "If only finding a house was this easy,"

Seeing Sam when she was called in made her realise how much she missed his friendship. She returned his smile and hugged him tightly, "I'm sorry," he told her with more honesty than she'd ever seen from him,

"Me too," she told him,

"I heard you're looking for a house,"

She nodded, "The rate we're going I don't think we'll ever agree on one," she smiled at him, "You and Ellie should come over… I mean that,"

"We speak to each other less now than we did when you were in Afghanistan," he told her,

She nodded, "We've both been stupid,"

"No… I've been stupid, and I've ended up losing two friends,"

"I'll always be your friend," she told him, "And so will Gareth, go for a drink with him sometime,"

"Connie… there's no theatre's free and Mr. Adam's is bleeding out,"

"Do you think you can handle it Sam?"

"What do you expect me to do? Open him up on the ward?"

"You can do this," she told him, "I'll send one of our theatre nurses and get a nurse to bleep Gareth… in the meantime, do what you can to stop that bleed,"

"Okay,"

"I wouldn't tell you to do this if I thought you couldn't," she told him, "Good luck,"

He exhaled strongly, "Right, Miss. Chase is caught up, all the theatres are full, so we're going to operate here,"

Chrissie raised her eyebrows, "Seriously?"

"Have you got any better ideas Chrissie? Because I'd love to hear them,"

Chrissie rolled her eyes, "What about theatre equipment?"

"A theatre nurse is on her way, Mr. Wilson is on his way from home and until then we will have to make do,"

"Nothing like being in the thick of things Mr. Strachan," Gareth smiled, pulling on the gloves and gown that the theatre nurse handed him, "How is it going?"

"I think I've stopped the bleed for now, but he needs stenting,"

Gareth nodded, "You heard the man, Anne, can you grab the equipment please,"

"Theatre two is free," Chrissie shouted over the chaos,

"In that case, off we go… Anne, are you happy to bag?"

"Of course," she replied, "Come on Mr. Adam's stay with us,"

Eight hours later the two Consultants and Registrar finally left the hospital, "Does anyone fancy grabbing some breakfast? Sam asked,

Gareth nodded, "Con?"

"I'll pass," she smiled tiredly, "I'll see you tomorrow Sam… Gareth I'll see you later, I'll be at yours,"

He crawled into bed an hour after her, falling asleep almost instantly. A few hours later she felt surprisingly refreshed and set about making lunch and returning the estate agents call.

She jogged up the stairs, sitting on the edge of the bed and nudging Gareth awake. He rolled onto his side to face her, "You okay?"

"I love the fact I wake you up and you don't shout," she smiled, "I just spoke to the estate agent, we can view that house today at two?,"

He placed his hand on hers gently, watching as she pushed her fingers through his, "Don't get excited Con, it doesn't matter if we don't agree… we'll find somewhere,"

She nodded, "It's half twelve now, you need to shower and make yourself look presentable?"

"What? You mean I don't already?"

She raised her eyebrow, "No, you're making me what to crawl back into bed with you,"

"There's no harm in that,"

She laughed, pulling back his covers and jogging back downstairs, "Get yourself ready,"

"Come and shower with me,"

"No," she shouted up the stairs, "We have to be out of here in half an hour,"

The house looked absolutely beautiful and full of character. The kitchen was large, homely and modern, it had an island which Connie wanted, and the main bedroom had a large bay window. The three bedrooms all had en suites and Gareth loved the size of the office, the large corner sofa in the lounge and the grand stairway. The garden was a fair size and easy enough to maintain, neither of them being great gardeners, and the decking had a well concealed hot tub.

"What do you think?" She asked, her eyes bright as the estate agent took a phone call,

He nodded, "It has everything I want,"

"And everything I want too," she smiled, "I love the real fire,"

"I can't see you bringing coal and wood in from outside,"

"Why would I need too, when I have you to do that?"


	11. Old flames vs New Love

She saw him sat at the bar, his head in his hands, what looked like another pint in front of him. "What's going on with you Sam? You can't keep doing this," she told him strongly,

He looked up at her, "What's going on? Me and Ellie are arguing all the time and it's driving me insane,"

She raised an eyebrow, "You need to stop working such long hours, you were dangerous today… I won't have that… not when everything is working so well…"

"I still love you," he told her as he finished his pint and beckoned for another one,

Connie couldn't help the surprise that she felt, his words taking her by surprise,

She shook her head, "Don't do this Sam,"

"And I don't think I ever told you that when we were together did I? I don't think I ever told you I loved you,"

"No… you never did," she admitted,

"Well I did,"

She stood up, struggling with the tears that were in her eyes, "This is too late Sam, years too late,"

"But we could…"

She shook her head, "Stop it… you need to stop this…

"Why?"

"Because if you had said that before I left, I would never have gone… what we had was fun, and friendship, and you meant more to me than anyone ever had, but I never knew how you felt. And then you got married Sam."

"You would never have gone?"

She shook her head, "No…."

"We could still do this…"

She shook her head, "I love Gareth, I love him Sam… he's…" She shrugged, "He's everything I want, I never thought I would ever find someone like him, and I… we… we were over years ago,"

"Con…"

She kissed his cheek gently, "Go home Sam, take Ellie on holiday… you must have loved her to marry her… you still love her,"

He stood up and exhaled strongly,

"Part of me will always love you," she admitted, "But I can't tell you how angry I am with you,"

"You're angry?" he uttered,

She nodded, "So angry" she uttered as they walked outside together.

He heard her let herself into his house and was surprised as she didn't venture upstairs. She sat down heavily onto his sofa and allowed the tears to run down her cheeks, shaking her head, she got up and opened his front door, throwing on her coat.

"It's late… where are you going?" Gareth asked gently, his voice deep and tired, making her want to curl into him forever,

She shook her head, unable to stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks,

"Con?" He uttered, confused, he didn't think he's ever seen her cry,

"I'm okay," she told him quietly, pursing her lips, leaning back against him as he slipped his arms gently around her waist,

"Is this you running from me?" He asked her,

She shook her head, "No… Jesus Christ… no,"

"You can tell me anything,"

"You won't understand… I don't think I understand," she admitted,

"Turn around," he asked, grateful as her hand dropped from the door handle and she turned around,

He kissed her mouth and then her temple, "You don't cry over nothing, something has upset you, and I'll try to understand,"

She sighed and pulled a half full bottle of wine out of the fridge, pouring herself a glass,

She sat next to him on the sofa and placed her hand on his chiselled face, "I need you to know I love you because I'm not sure you will understand, but I want you to know that I really love you Gareth,"

He nodded, wondering what she was about to tell him,

"I was eighteen when I met my ex-husband Michael, he was twenty six and well dressed and rich. He knew things about the world and about how to manipulate people and he well and truly manipulated me. I thought I loved him, but he used to sleep around… the first time I caught him with someone else I threw up, we'd only been married a year, but I was twenty three and stupidly thought he wouldn't do it again. In the end I was sleeping around too, and I only ended it after he lost his temper and hit me… hard… more than once." She sipped her wine, "I divorced Michael when I was thirty, we'd been married eight years and me and Sam…we…. you don't want to hear this," she sighed,

He nodded, "I probably don't, but you need to say it,"

She stood up and walked over to the window, "Sam was everything Michael wasn't," she smiled, "He was my best friend, we didn't sleep with anyone else while we were together, we were always together… he…" She shrugged, "He helped me become myself again… but we were both too stubborn, and I was always too guarded to admit how I felt for him… when I went to Afghanistan… " She shrugged, "I left, and I…" She sighed, "I was so angry he didn't tell me he got married, when I first came back, I think part of me thought we'd be able to just pick up from where we left off… but when I found he was married…" She rolled her eyes, "He let me down, I think that was the worst part… he let me down…"

"You can tell me," Gareth nodded, "You need to say this, but I…"

"Promise me you won't hate me for telling you this,"

"I couldn't," he told her honestly,

"I never expected to feel like this for you," she smiled, "I remember the first time I saw you, I erm…. I thought you were beautiful," she admitted, sitting down onto his lap and running her fingers across his neck, "The way you spoke, the suit you wore, the way your eyes looked at me," She smiled, kissing his hands gently, "You are the most amazing man I've ever known," she admitted, "And Sam… I hated hurting Sam… but I couldn't stop myself, you asked me if I ever lose control…. I don't think I did before I met you,"

She finished her wine and sighed, "Sam's been working too many hours, I knew something was up, so I found him in the bar earlier," The tears rolled gently down her face again, "I don't even know why I'm crying," she admitted,

He could feel his chest tightening, he hated seeing her like this, and he hoped she hadn't kissed Sam. He loved her, but he couldn't stay if he knew he was second best.

"He told me he loves me," she admitted, hating seeing the sadness in his eyes, "He told me he loved me today… he never told me that once when we were together… I don't even know why I'm upset, I don't love him… he's two years too late, but he… he's meant to be my friend, and by telling you I know me and him can't be friends like we used to be anymore and I think that's what upsets me the most."

"If he had told you that before you went to Afghanistan… would you have gone?" he asked, his voice different, he sounded hurt,

"No," she admitted,

"If he wasn't married now, would you have fallen into bed with him?"

"When I first came back… yes," she admitted, "Since I've been with you? Never," she told him so certainly and honestly he felt his heart would break,

"I think it's time we got some sleep," he told her calmly,

"You're not mad?" She asked quietly, leaning into him and closing her eyes, "No…. I'm not mad," he told her honestly, "You can tell me anything… you can talk to me… I don't know what Michael was like, but I'm not him… you can tell me anything,"

She nodded, "I know… I'm just getting used to that,"

"Take me to bed Gareth," she smiled, slipping his t-shirt from his body and kissing his mouth gently.

Their sex was different than they'd had before, he was gentle and strong and slow, neither of them letting their need for each other rush what they were doing. He was hot and strong and everywhere, his mouth kissing every part of skin he could find. She pulled his mouth to hers, urging him to kiss her, not that he needed any persuasion. She moved on top of him slowly, enjoying the sounds he made as she flicked her hips and kissed his neck,

"I am so in love with you," she whispered into his ear, "I've never felt like this before,"

"You don't know how good that is to know," he replied, "Because I'm sure you know just how much I love you,"

Hours later they lay in the darkness, every part of their bodies touching beneath the cool sheets,

His fingers ran gently up and down her back before resting on the side of her soft breast,

"Promise me something," she asked him quietly,

"Anything," he replied, kissing her shoulder,

"Promise me that you'll love me this much forever," she asked quietly,

He ran his hand through her hair, "I promise I'll love you this much forever,"

"Forever is a long time Mr. Wilson," she smiled against his chest.

He kissed her forehead, "I'd happily give you forever,"

He found working alongside Sam difficult, since Connie had told him what he'd admitted to her, he couldn't help but notice the way he looked at her. He sighed as he handed over the patients to Sam, thinking he'd have to see if he could change the rotas around. He trusted Connie, not one part of him doubted how she felt about him, and he hated feeling so jealous.


	12. I think about you

She came out of theatre, a smile on her face, "Our house has gone through," she smiled, her eyes not leaving his. She hadn't thought it was possible, but since Sam's confession the other night, she'd found an even deeper love for Gareth.

"I wondered what had put that smile back on your beautiful face," he told her gently,

"We can move in next week," she smiled, standing close to him,

"Standing this close to you still makes my heart beat faster," he almost whispered,

"Good," she smiled, "Don't you dare kiss me here,"

He laughed lightly, and instead winked at her before walking into his office.

She felt a slight sadness as she looked at their house, filled with their things while Gareth was at work. She rolled her eyes at herself and wondered when she got so sentimental.

He was looking forward to going back to their new home and curling up with Connie. Connie… he still couldn't quite believe how he felt for her. He pulled on his coat, checked with Trisha there was nothing else he needed to do before jogging out of the hospital towards his car.

He got home and let himself into their house, smiling as he saw her fast asleep on the sofa. He was impressed at how she'd managed to finish the unpacking so quickly, although nothing surprised him when it came to what she could do. He took of his coat and shoes and sat in front of where she lay and kissed her mouth gently,

"Hi," she smiled, pulling him down towards her and kissing him lazily,

He ran his fingertips underneath her top gently and kissed her again,

"How was your day?" She asked, in between his kisses as he lay down next to her.

"All the better for seeing you," he admitted, "Was a bit dull really,"

She smiled, "I've unpacked the last of our stuff… move it if you don't like where I've put things,"

He kissed her stomach, "The house looks great… you look great…."

"Come and take a shower with me, I need to shower,"

"There's something bothering you," she stated, "And don't say there isn't because I've noticed a change in you over the last few days,"

He laughed, "I love your temper,"

She stood behind him and kissed his neck, "Talk to me," she told him,

He sighed,

"Gareth," she nudged him, a smile on her face, "Come on, out with it, I have theatre soon,"

"We'll talk later, what I'm going to say may make you mad… let's do this after theatre,"

She rolled her eyes and kissed him firmly, "I love you," she told him as she left the room.

"How was your holiday?" She asked Sam as they operated together,

"Good," he admitted, "Things are good,"

"No more drinking?" She asked, raising her eyebrow,

"No more drinking,"

"Did you tell Gareth what I said to you?" he asked,

"Yes," she admitted simply,

"Why…"

"Because he knew something was wrong,"

"I thought you were good at hiding how you feel,"

"Apparently not," she uttered,

"Well that explains why he's avoiding me, it probably explains why Luke's my mentor now,"

Connie shot him a sharp look, "That's enough,"

"What, we're not talking about this anymore?"

"Correct," she uttered,

The rest of the surgery passed in an almost stony silence, Connie pulling off her apron and storming from theatre.

"It's Sam isn't it? You've been avoiding him because of what he said to me… and you've changed from being his mentor,"

"Yes," he nodded,

"Every now and again I catch him watching you… and I hate how he looks at you… he looks at you like he's seen you naked, he looks at you like he's remembering and…"

She walked over to his window and sighed. "Are you mad?" He asked, placing down his pen and walking over towards her, running his hands down her arms.

"Not mad," she uttered, "Just…" She shrugged, "This is a mess, Sam was your friend… he used to be my friend… I shouldn't have told you, would you have preferred it if I didn't tell you?"

"No,"

She turned to face him, "If it was the other way around….I…" she slipped her hands either side of his face, "I would hate working so closely to someone you used to share your life with and have sex with… but this is what it is..."

"I knew about you and Sam before I even knew you," he admitted, "I'm not usually a jealous man, I'm not but… Jesus Connie, I'm sorry,"

"You don't have to be sorry," she told him gently, "Before we slept together and you asked me if I was still in love Sam… I meant it when I said I wasn't. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, I will always love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I wouldn't have bought a house with you if I wasn't in this for the long run,"

He nodded, exhaling strongly, "I know… I just…"

"I come home to you… I think about you… I wake up with you…" She told him softly, "That's all there is too it,"


	13. Tears and Sadness

She sat outside, her coat wrapped around her body, shivering as the wind picked up again. "Connie," an American voice uttered above the wind,

She stood up, "Please tell me…"

"He's strong… but then you knew that," Michael nodded, "We're keeping him in a medically induced come for tonight at least,"

"Can I…"

"Go and see him? Of course," Michael replied handing her a cup of coffee and a jumper, "As long as you put this on and drink this,"

"Thank you," she told him,

"That man loves you in ways I'm sure he's not aware of, hold onto him won't you,"

"I'll do my best," she smiled, "Thanks Michael,"

He nodded, before leaving her alone with Gareth.

She sat down beside him, immediately taking his cold hand in hers, praying with every cell of her body for him to wake up and get through this. He'd taken quite a beating, and she had no idea why. He was leaving the hospital after a night shift and walked to the end of the car park to get his car, somewhere in between he'd been beaten to an inch of his life.

"I can't imagine my life without you," she told him, "Please get through this, I can't live in our house and do this job without you,"

She couldn't stop the tears that ran down her cheeks, her shoulders heaving with the effort of her tears. She held his hand in hers, before closing her eyes and allowing herself to drift off into an uneasy sleep.

She woke abruptly the next morning as a nurse she'd never met before checked Gareth's obs and wrote them down on her chart,

"What time is it?" Connie asked, her voice quiet, and not sounding like her own,

"Six," the nurse replied, "I'm Ellie by the way, I'll be looking after your husband today,"

She shook her head, "I'm Connie… and he's not my husband," she smiled,

"Sorry… I just presumed…"

"I don't really know what I am, I mean we live together, but I'm far too old to be his girlfriend," she replied quietly,

"Michael Spence thinks they may hold sedation today," Ellie told her,

"Can you make sure, he's got enough pain relief?" Connie asked,

"Of course."

He woke a few hours later, his hands automatically going up to his mouth and pulling against the tubes, "Gareth… you're in Holby, calm down," she spoke quietly, her eyes not leaving his, watching as his hands went up to her face.

She stroked his hair from his head softly, "I'm going to get Michael… I won't be long,"

She didn't miss the panic that spread across his face and kissed his cheek gently, "I won't be long okay,"

He nodded slowly, watching as she opened the door and beckoned Michael over,

Connie stood back as Michael and Ric removed his tubes and turned the ventilator off. She watched as they explained what happened and only stepped forward as they turned to leave the room, "I'm here for the next few hours," Michael nodded, watching as Connie gently sat on the edge of Gareth's bed.

"How are you feeling?" She asked gently, her left hand on his chest, her right resting on his cheek,

"Tired," he admitted, tucking her hair behind her ear gently, "Are you okay?"

She nodded, tears filling her eyes, "I'm fine, don't worry about me," she smiled,

"You've postponed surgery… you must be worried," he probed gently, holding her hand that lay on her chest in his own,

"When they… " she exhaled, "When they rang me and told me what had happened I…" She shook her head, tears rolling down her cheeks again,

"Con," he spoke gently, squeezing her hand, "I'm okay… I wouldn't leave you,"

"I thought you were going to die," she admitted, "I…" She wiped her eyes, "The thought of living without you, hurt me in ways I didn't think were possible,"

"Come here," he asked her softly,

"I don't want to hurt you,"

"With all this morphine?" he smiled, holding up her hand and pulling her gently into him, kissing her hair lightly, "I've waited my whole life to meet someone like you," he told her softly, "I wouldn't leave you here without me,"


	14. Love and Affection

She sat outside, her coat wrapped around her body, shivering as the wind picked up again. "Connie," an American voice uttered above the wind,

She stood up, "Please tell me…"

"He's strong… but then you knew that," Michael nodded, "We're keeping him in a medically induced come for tonight at least,"

"Can I…"

"Go and see him? Of course," Michael replied handing her a cup of coffee and a jumper, "As long as you put this on and drink this,"

"Thank you," she told him,

"That man loves you in ways I'm sure he's not aware of, hold onto him won't you,"

"I'll do my best," she smiled, "Thanks Michael,"

He nodded, before leaving her alone with Gareth.

She sat down beside him, immediately taking his cold hand in hers, praying with every cell of her body for him to wake up and get through this. He'd taken quite a beating, and she had no idea why. He was leaving the hospital after a night shift and walked to the end of the car park to get his car, somewhere in between he'd been beaten to an inch of his life.

"I can't imagine my life without you," she told him, "Please get through this, I can't live in our house and do this job without you,"

She couldn't stop the tears that ran down her cheeks, her shoulders heaving with the effort of her tears. She held his hand in hers, before closing her eyes and allowing herself to drift off into an uneasy sleep.

She woke abruptly the next morning as a nurse she'd never met before checked Gareth's obs and wrote them down on her chart,

"What time is it?" Connie asked, her voice quiet, and not sounding like her own,

"Six," the nurse replied, "I'm Ellie by the way, I'll be looking after your husband today,"

She shook her head, "I'm Connie… and he's not my husband," she smiled,

"Sorry… I just presumed…"

"I don't really know what I am, I mean we live together, but I'm far too old to be his girlfriend," she replied quietly,

"Michael Spence thinks they may hold sedation today," Ellie told her,

"Can you make sure, he's got enough pain relief?" Connie asked,

"Of course."

He woke a few hours later, his hands automatically going up to his mouth and pulling against the tubes, "Gareth… you're in Holby, calm down," she spoke quietly, her eyes not leaving his, watching as his hands went up to her face.

She stroked his hair from his head softly, "I'm going to get Michael… I won't be long,"

She didn't miss the panic that spread across his face and kissed his cheek gently, "I won't be long okay,"

He nodded slowly, watching as she opened the door and beckoned Michael over,

Connie stood back as Michael and Ric removed his tubes and turned the ventilator off. She watched as they explained what happened and only stepped forward as they turned to leave the room, "I'm here for the next few hours," Michael nodded, watching as Connie gently sat on the edge of Gareth's bed.

"How are you feeling?" She asked gently, her left hand on his chest, her right resting on his cheek,

"Tired," he admitted, tucking her hair behind her ear gently, "Are you okay?"

She nodded, tears filling her eyes, "I'm fine, don't worry about me," she smiled,

"You've postponed surgery… you must be worried," he probed gently, holding her hand that lay on her chest in his own,

"When they… " she exhaled, "When they rang me and told me what had happened I…" She shook her head, tears rolling down her cheeks again,

"Con," he spoke gently, squeezing her hand, "I'm okay… I wouldn't leave you,"

"I thought you were going to die," she admitted, "I…" She wiped her eyes, "The thought of living without you, hurt me in ways I didn't think were possible,"

"Come here," he asked her softly,

"I don't want to hurt you,"

"With all this morphine?" he smiled, holding up her hand and pulling her gently into him, kissing her hair lightly, "I've waited my whole life to meet someone like you," he told her softly, "I wouldn't leave you here without me,"


	15. No more drama

She sat outside, her coat wrapped around her body, shivering as the wind picked up again. "Connie," an American voice uttered above the wind,

She stood up, "Please tell me…"

"He's strong… but then you knew that," Michael nodded, "We're keeping him in a medically induced come for tonight at least,"

"Can I…"

"Go and see him? Of course," Michael replied handing her a cup of coffee and a jumper, "As long as you put this on and drink this,"

"Thank you," she told him,

"That man loves you in ways I'm sure he's not aware of, hold onto him won't you,"

"I'll do my best," she smiled, "Thanks Michael,"

He nodded, before leaving her alone with Gareth.

She sat down beside him, immediately taking his cold hand in hers, praying with every cell of her body for him to wake up and get through this. He'd taken quite a beating, and she had no idea why. He was leaving the hospital after a night shift and walked to the end of the car park to get his car, somewhere in between he'd been beaten to an inch of his life.

"I can't imagine my life without you," she told him, "Please get through this, I can't live in our house and do this job without you,"

She couldn't stop the tears that ran down her cheeks, her shoulders heaving with the effort of her tears. She held his hand in hers, before closing her eyes and allowing herself to drift off into an uneasy sleep.

She woke abruptly the next morning as a nurse she'd never met before checked Gareth's obs and wrote them down on her chart,

"What time is it?" Connie asked, her voice quiet, and not sounding like her own,

"Six," the nurse replied, "I'm Ellie by the way, I'll be looking after your husband today,"

She shook her head, "I'm Connie… and he's not my husband," she smiled,

"Sorry… I just presumed…"

"I don't really know what I am, I mean we live together, but I'm far too old to be his girlfriend," she replied quietly,

"Michael Spence thinks they may hold sedation today," Ellie told her,

"Can you make sure, he's got enough pain relief?" Connie asked,

"Of course."

He woke a few hours later, his hands automatically going up to his mouth and pulling against the tubes, "Gareth… you're in Holby, calm down," she spoke quietly, her eyes not leaving his, watching as his hands went up to her face.

She stroked his hair from his head softly, "I'm going to get Michael… I won't be long,"

She didn't miss the panic that spread across his face and kissed his cheek gently, "I won't be long okay,"

He nodded slowly, watching as she opened the door and beckoned Michael over,

Connie stood back as Michael and Ric removed his tubes and turned the ventilator off. She watched as they explained what happened and only stepped forward as they turned to leave the room, "I'm here for the next few hours," Michael nodded, watching as Connie gently sat on the edge of Gareth's bed.

"How are you feeling?" She asked gently, her left hand on his chest, her right resting on his cheek,

"Tired," he admitted, tucking her hair behind her ear gently, "Are you okay?"

She nodded, tears filling her eyes, "I'm fine, don't worry about me," she smiled,

"You've postponed surgery… you must be worried," he probed gently, holding her hand that lay on her chest in his own,

"When they… " she exhaled, "When they rang me and told me what had happened I…" She shook her head, tears rolling down her cheeks again,

"Con," he spoke gently, squeezing her hand, "I'm okay… I wouldn't leave you,"

"I thought you were going to die," she admitted, "I…" She wiped her eyes, "The thought of living without you, hurt me in ways I didn't think were possible,"

"Come here," he asked her softly,

"I don't want to hurt you,"

"With all this morphine?" he smiled, holding up her hand and pulling her gently into him, kissing her hair lightly, "I've waited my whole life to meet someone like you," he told her softly, "I wouldn't leave you here without me,"


	16. Forever Remember

He couldn't remember the last time he felt so nervous, his heart was beating fast within his chest, his hands shaking. Connie smiled at him as he stood at the microphone, her eyes not leaving his as he introduced the charity auction. "There is one last thing," he admitted, exhaling strongly, "I want to ask Connie to come up here for a few minutes,"

"Con," Trisha laughed, pushing her gently, "Whatever he does say yes,"

"I've asked you this a few times, and I'm hoping that asking you in front of all these people will cause you to say yes," he grinned. She watched as he got onto one knee and took a ring box out of his pocket, "I always thought falling in love and getting married was for other people while I escaped with one of the bridesmaids," he smiled, making her laugh, "Until I met you. I fell in love with you the moment I met you. Please put this on and say you'll become my wife,"

She nodded, "Stand up,"

"I love you more than anything," he told her, "Marry me Con,"

"I can't think of anything I want more," she smiled, watching as he slipped the ring onto her slender finger. The crowd whistled and clapped and Connie smiled, kissing him softly, "I love you," she whispered against his neck.

"Enjoy your evening," he smiled charmingly at everyone who stood clapping them.

He sat down next to her at the auction, watching as she chinked her glass against his, "There was one problem with doing that here?"

"What, you couldn't bring yourself to say no in front of all those people? All part of my plan you see,"

She laughed, kissing his mouth gently, "All I want to do is go home… to bed and celebrate our engagement properly,"

He exhaled, "Don't start talking like that here," he laughed, "You know exactly what effect your words have on me,"

She kissed his neck softly, watching as he took her hand in his and squeezed it,

"I can't wait to become your wife," she smiled, leaning against him,

"Don't tell me you're getting soft," he replied quietly,

"Only for you," she whispered into his ear.

He came out of the bathroom that night to see Connie fast asleep wearing only her underwear on top of their bed. He turned off the light in the bathroom, picked up the quilt in the spare room and lay it over her before getting in beside her. She curled into him automatically, making him smile as he ran his hands through her hair. She opened her eyes and yawned, "Sorry," she smiled, "You proposed to me and I'm half asleep,"

He shook his head, "don't worry, go back to sleep, we have all night,"

She rolled onto her side, enjoying how he held her too him as he lay close behind her, "All night?" She smiled, "We have forever remember,"

He kissed her shoulder fondly, "That's right forever,"


	17. I Do

She entered the church and despite all the people, all she could see was him. He stood tall in front of the vicar, his suit perfectly fitted, his eyes sparkling as he turned around and looked at her. His smile highlighted his face as she smiled and winked at her. She felt like the air had all rushed from her lungs and she wasn't sure it was ever coming back.

His heart leapt as he looked at her. Her white, lace dress clinging to every curve. Her hair was curly and pinned up, her eye make up slightly darker than usual. He could see her freckles, he loved her freckles.

She slipped her arm from Elliott's, "She's yours now, look after," Elliot spoke quietly to Gareth, knowing her would, but needing to say it anyway,

"Of course," Gareth smiled, shaking Elliott's hand, before taking Connie's in his own,

"I feel like the luckiest man on earth," he admitted, "You look so beautiful,"

She kissed his cheek, "So do you," she breathed, the feeling in her chest almost too much to bear.

"I said I didn't want to get married again after I divorced Michael," she told him quietly, "And then I met you. You are everything I've ever wanted. I love your humour, I love how you love me so deeply, I love the way you look at me, no-one has ever looked at me like you do. I can't wait to become your wife, I can't wait to be your wife forever."

"I loved you from the minute I saw you," he told her, "You are the most beautiful, most passionate woman I've ever met. You are the most amazing person I've ever known. You will always be the most amazing person I've ever known. I can't wait for you to take my name, I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, I can't wait to spend forever with you."

"Where are we going?" she asked, the excitement in her stomach increasing to a level she'd never thought possible,

"Where are they off too?" Chrissie uttered,

"Come and have a drink with me," Sam asked her,

"I'm surprised you came," Chrissie admitted, "You loved her once,"

He nodded, "She never once looked at me like that."

An hour later they lap completely naked, Gareth leaning back against a large tree, Connie curled up on his chest. She looked up at him and smiled, squeezing his fingers between hers on his chest,

"The first time I knew I loved you was when I asked you to dance at Chrissie's wedding," he admitted, "When you told me you wanted to skip the dance and fall into to bed with me, I felt like I was dreaming,"

She smiled, running her fingertip across his chiselled cheek bone, "I thought you were going to turn me down,"

He shook his head, "Turn you down Connie? You were all I could think about for months,"

She smiled "You've never told me that before,"

"I hadn't even kissed you, how was I supposed to tell you that I loved you?"

She sighed contentedly as his fingertips ran across her bare breast, before he shifted her so his mouth surrounded her nipple, "Gareth," she uttered as he lay her gently onto the ground in the dark night,

"What do you want?" he asked her, his mouth finding its way across her flat stomach and in-between her legs,

"You know," she uttered, feeling exposed and ridiculously happy as he teased her gently,

"Tell me," he pushed, lifting her legs over his shoulders and nipping her gently,

"And if I don't?" she smiled,

"I'll have to tease it out of you,"

"Please do," she laughed.

He kissed her, enjoying the way she pressed herself against him, "What do you want,"

She pushed him away from her, before straddling him and wrapping her arm around his neck, lowering herself onto him suddenly, "You," she smiled, "All I want right now is you,"


	18. It's all about you

She sat gently on his lap, pushing his sunglasses up so they rested on his head,

"You look good with a tan," she smiled, wrapping her arms gently around his neck and kissing his lips gently,

"I love you," he told her as she kissed him again, pulling him to lay on the sunbed, resting on his chest,

"You tired?" he smiled, kissing her hair gently,

"We haven't exactly had much sleep recently have we?" she smiled, leaning up onto her right elbow and slipping her hand across his cheek softly,

He tucked her hair behind her ear, "I love you, I can't believe you're my wife."

"You're quiet," he observed as he tucked his passport into her bag,

"I don't want to go home,"

He sat next to her on the bed and kissed her mouth gently, "We can do this again,"

She nodded, "I know… but I've loved every minute of these last two weeks,"

"You've never looked sexier Mrs. Holden," he smiled, winking at her as she stood with her tanned elbows deep into a patient's chest cavity,

"What are you doing here?"

"Rumour has it, you needed another pair of hands,"

"Thank god," she smiled, "Come and do some work for a change and get your hands dirty,"

"Listen lady, the only reason I'm doing so much paperwork is because I know how much you hate it,"

She winked at him, "You're so much better at it than me,"

"She's got you wrapped around her little finger," Paul Rose commented,

"As well as everyone else in this room," Gareth grinned.

He sat on the edge of bed with his feet on the floor, sipping his bottle of water.

She knelt onto the bed behind him, slipping her hands down his chest and kissing his cheek, "Are you okay?"

"They overwhelm you a bit don't they?" he observed as she kissed his neck gently,

"Yes," she admitted,

"Me too," he admitted, "Although not all northern people are loud,"

"No," she smiled, "You're charming and laid back, but your voice is loud,"

He laughed as she pulled him backwards onto the bed, "We can't do this here," he spoke quietly,

She kissed him, "Fine,"

She stood up and pulled her summer dress over her head, standing in her underwear as she hung it up. She knew he was watching her as she slipped her bra from the body, before slipping her knickers slowly down her legs.

She entered the bathroom and switched on the shower before she took the clips out of her hair in front of the bedroom mirror, placing them on the side. She smiled at him, watching as he shook his head at her,

"Connie,"

"I'm having a shower," she smiled, laughing as he jumped up and wrapped his arms around her bare waist,

"You are a tease," he whispered into her ear,

"I'm all yours, you know that," she smiled, undoing his shirt and closing the bathroom door, "All I'm doing is getting changed,"

"Slowly, and seductively, in front of me," he smiled against her neck,

"If you don't want me right now, I'll shower alone," she smiled her mouth so close to his, before she pulled away and got into the shower.

He couldn't remove his clothes fast enough and opened the shower door, pushing her backwards against the cool tiles, "You have to be quiet,"

"I'm all about control, you know that," she smiled.

An hour later he wrapped a towel around her body, pulling her so she sat on his lap on the edge of the bed, "I think that may be the main reason I married you," she teased him, catching her mouth with her own and kissing him firmly,

"Finally found someone who could take you on hey?" He smiled, his deep northern drawl, making her smile,

"Almost," she grinned.


End file.
